Last week I came back from my holiday in Barcelona and because of some... Things, I've been acting like a hikkikomori all these days... Reading mangas, playing videogames, watching movies, series and animes and not leaving my room at all, but I think it's time to finally cope with all these feelings and thoughts.
I wasn't angry, I was just so sooo disappointed with my so called friends... I knew it wasn't my fault if they acted like total assholes but it still hurted so much. People say "I made a mistake, it won't happen again" and think that everything will be fine, but it won't, of course it won't.
If I ask you which is the capital city of the UK and you say Praga, that is a mistake, but if I continiously ask you if you know what's going on, if everything is O.K and you keep on saying "I don't know, everything is fine", when obviously there is something fishy and you're obviously lying to me, I don't consider it a mistake.
How do I know it won't happen again? If you didn't trust me enough to tell me something as huge as this, why would you tell me next time? What have changed? That we found out about it? I don't think it's a meaningful reason for me to trust you again. Because you were my friends and I trusted you, but now I don't.
And you ask me to not give as good as I get, to not keep things from you like you did to me... Yet how can I do that when I don't feel like telling you anything anymore, I don't actually feel like talking to you anymore.
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